(no subject)

[swampofboredom]

From NPR: The Designing Women Game: Write Your Own Julia Rant

The items to plug into the rant:

AN APPETIZER
A FAMOUS CRIMINAL
AN INEXPENSIVE RETAILER
A SMALL AMOUNT OF MONEY
A METAL
A BREAKFAST CEREAL
AN ENVIRONMENTAL PROBLEM
A POPULAR GADGET
A JUNK FOOD
A REALITY SHOW
A KIND OF CANDY
A SPORTING EVENT
A HISTORICAL FIGURE NAMED "JOHN"
A CELEBRITY NAMED "JOHN"
AN ARTICLE OF CLOTHING
A HOME ELECTRONICS COMPONENT
A CHAIN RESTAURANT
A CITY IN THE SOUTHERN U.S.
A POPULAR TOY
A LITERARY FIGURE

Your Designing Women Rant: Topic The Bachelorette

I would rather spend two hours sharing stuffed jalapenos with Bonnie and Clyde than watch a woman who apparently purchased her intellect at TJ Max for ten cents chase twenty-five men with biceps made of bronze and heads packed with cherrios.

Because when future generations look upon what we have left for them, which may by then be little more than melting ice caps and millions of non-biodegradable dildos, I fear they will conclude that they would have welcomed bread and circuses if only they had realized the alternative was ho-ho's and I'm a Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here!

[sits down and crosses arms, but then immediately stands back up]

And let me tell you a little something about romance: Handing out roses like you are a mascot throwing butterfingers to the assembled hooligans at a NASCAR race is not my idea of romance. Romance is a man who knows the difference between John Wayne and John Gosselin and who is capable of putting on an ascot without scratching his head as if he is connecting a TIVO without the instruction manual.

So do not ask yourself why I do not particularly enjoy a television show where the assembled male candidates represent romantic prospects inferior to the workers on the night shift at the Whataburger in Corpus Christie. Ask yourself whether, after a lifetime playing with a cultural Rubix cube and dancing on the grave of Ernest Hemingway, you will ever...recover...your dignity.

That was fun!





I haven't forgotten about my second favorite war movies post, I just haven't had a chance to write it up.